I have so much built up inside me that sometimes it feels like I might explode. When I think I’m moving forward and becoming part of the world around me, a memory on my phone, a song from your playlist, or one of your jumpers takes me back to a reality where time has stood still. Our health has deteriorated, each of us physically manifesting the pain that can’t be seen in the streets – the sorrow of not having you, which isn’t visible on our faces, the unease of not knowing where to go, the invisible struggles we face.

Missing you my son is the greatest pain I could ever understand that exists in the world. When I see the one who loved you, the pain intensifies and breaks my soul. It’s a feeling of helplessness, a deep sorrow that tightens my throat into a knot, always bringing me back to that profound sadness, the kind that doesn’t go away and resurfaces from time to time.

The corners of my soul feel empty without you, Oscar, and there is nothing or no one who can fill or ease that absence.

It’s strange how, without realizing it, I move from grief to confusion, anger, and then sadness or melancholy. It feels like I’m progressing, yet all I see is the same thing from a different angle – that you’re no longer here. The house feels empty without your conversations, all the personal moments that were just yours, the things we no longer share, that I no longer live or feel… a constant, silent absence

On the days when I feel more energized, when I look at the sun with hope, I like to feel your presence «on the other side,» knowing that you’re there in some way, and that we will meet again – to feel, to embrace, in some form. I want to believe in this. I don’t think we are so important or egocentric as to believe that everything ends so abruptly. The signs that led us to you, and the way you left, which shocked us all, delivered such a powerful and irreplaceable blow that its echo still lingers in the memories of many. This cannot simply remain as it is..

Death is a part of life, though we tend to avoid discussing it, pushing it out of our minds. I understand that our story is unwritten, and that we will all eventually experience the absence of someone dear to us. We were not taught nor prepared to confront the inevitable. As we all must pass, so will I. I hope my departure is marked by both laughter and tears, and like with Oscar, that we feel the pain of his absence while cherishing the unforgettable moments from his life and story.

I never focused on misfortune. I always saw myself as a lucky person, although I never truly valued what is truly important until now. The things that can’t be seen but are felt; the arguments that now seem absurd, the problems that aren’t really problems. Everything has a solution, and putting things into perspective helps me breathe.

Oscar, we are still feeling lost, without clear direction or goals. They say we mature when we trade our dreams for memories, but that moment came too soon. The lifetime of work, the family project, meant to follow in the footsteps of those who begin to soar at their own pace and by their own rules—that was shattered with you, my love. We will keep putting ourselves back together, piece by piece, without losing our sanity, slowly finding a new sense of peace in this world with you, albeit in a different way. Because if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you are still with me, with us—the ones who have loved you and continue to love you. The strength I feel is the strength you give me every day

What I wouldn’t give to hold you in my arms just one more time, to feel your heartbeat. As the song says, it’s the simple things that reveal the most beautiful moments. You’ve left an indelible mark on all of our hearts.

The love I feel for both of you comes from my heart and is the most authentic, unique, and special emotion I have.

As time passes and allows us to place our feelings in the right perspective, we will see life in all the vibrant colours you have painted it, full of opportunities.