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50. Moments with You
And along the way, the journey fills with nostalgia. It’s hard to pack the car without your things, once again. To buy the sweets you liked or to argue over the playlist. Now it’s me who chooses music that brings me closer to you. I allow myself to shed a few tears for what could
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46. Our time
Most of us, regardless of our mood, financial situation or health, deep in our hearts feel the desire to ask something of the new year knocking at our door. Hopes and dreams can feel like an uphill climb when we’re missing someone who used to drive us forward – someone who was one of our
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45 . An angel in my tree
With everything that stirs us up again, these dates filled with past moments – funny images, impromptu theatricals by the little ones, dancing, and the spark of excitement in the eyes of the young and not-so-young – it’s hard… A simple “happy holidays” feels, as I say, very “Grinch-like.” It’s not that it’s unappreciated, but
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43. Living is urgent. One more October 13th.
. On the eve of what would have been your 20th birthday, I feel sorry when I think about how you would have celebrated it, a hangover tomorrow for sure. We probably would have had a family meal together, as you always wanted and as I always tried, to unite the family in important moments.
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40. To Oscar
There are those who express and share their feelings about their grief and feelings, about a sudden and traumatic blow. There are those who keep those thoughts to themselves. Others unburden themselves in private, grieving for an absurd world that truncates the happiness of many with the absence of a few. We are all deserving
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38. The darkest night
«I once had a son» I hold onto the thought that he is still here, he still lives on in me and in our memory. But when I stop in front of his portrait, my thoughts lead me to say, «you look like a dream» there so perfect, that serene and tender smile, that image
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35. Denial, anger, negotiation, depression, acceptance
And not always in that order, and sometimes they repeat and you start all over again. It is a theory about the phases of grief that has helped me and continues to help me understand where my grief is going. One year ago was the greatest loss, the trauma of a life time. The greatest
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34. Flowers and unconditional love
Like in a procession, praying litanies for your salvation. That’s how they kept us for 48 hours, from the shock of seeing you in a coma on a machine to making your death official. Brain death. I can’t get those 2 endless days of hope out of my mind, those who had faith prayed, those
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32. Dear grandson
Dear grandson: When I think of you, and I do often, I lose track of time and I cannot believe that a year has passed since that fateful day, because in my mind those images are still engraved and the memories of those terrible hours we were waiting for the resurgence of a life, which
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31. In the memory of a child, no one dies
I said in a post that I would talk about friends, and possibly one of the most difficult blog entries to express is this one. Because they are family, you take it for granted that they will be there, but when it happens you don’t know how happy I am to be able to have
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28. We are left with a choice
Parallel reality. You see the world from both a privileged and at the same time forced position. While you reset yourself every day you see the lives of others passing by and it hurts. Yours has somehow come to a standstill and no matter how much you want to, you can’t get into a rhythm,
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27. Magic night
I wish I could go back to January 2023, where the most repeated resolutions at the beginning of the year were mine; now I force myself to at least try to wake up every morning with a «this is what we have to live with, forever». So it’s up to me to choose how to
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21. Today is the 13 th of October
At the beginning of the year you said you were going to celebrate your birthday for 4 days,great, it’s Friday with a 4-day long weekend, perfect. Today we feel your absence and the emptiness left without you, which fills every room in the house. Today I would hug you tighter than other days, kiss you
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17. And suddenly
And suddenly I want to tell you something I heard in the car. I saw that programme you liked or simply a meme that only you would understand and it stays there… in draft… because I don’t have you and I don’t know how to get it to you. And suddenly I say to myself…(…)
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14. Today, we are all going home
3 months ago today, listening to «You are not alone», we entered the Church of Sant Just to say goodbye to you, with all the honour, respect, love and affection you deserved.Surrounded by all of those who loved you, we saw hundreds of glassy eyes that hid the pain of losing you, a deafening silence
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13. Letter from your yayo
Dear Oscar: The days go by without you. Three months now and the memories of your life come and go endlessly. There are many in your 18 years. Many, very beautiful and very endearing. By remembering those memories and seeing you in the company of so many people, they give us an idea of why
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12. Three months without you
Although today is one more day without you, waking up knowing that a part of you is missing, just a Thursday, I can’t help but think that 3 months ago today I saw you leave on a stretcher and I never saw your little eyes again. They took away what was vital in our lives.
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11. Solitude
Solitude is difficult to explain, because imagining it is just an illusion. Understanding that this absence, this emptiness cannot be filled by anything, by nothing new; I will probably fill other voids, but not that one, the hole left by the shot to my heart cannot be filled. I know that my interior is changing.
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10. Homage. Always with us
Last Sunday on the 18th of June Oscar’s memory was honoured at the Sant Just football club. If I start describing what we felt during the day, I think I can summarize it with the following video: The sensitivity shown by this group of people pierced the skin of those of us who were there,
El blog de Oscar 