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53. Do You Want to Join the #Ó7TRAVEL Group?
When summer arrived – that painful summer of 2023 – that time of hopes and travel plans, we stayed home. The trips the four of us took together, with Max, would no longer happen. That summer, we started something new – I’d even dare to say it was when we began Oscar’s legacy. Stickers with
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52. A Silent Battle
Today is one of those hard days – when, without saying anything, you say everything. I feel an endless pain, an injustice, a brutal helplessness that drags us down. I take two steps forward and three back. Sometimes the pain feels less constant over time, but when it tightens, it hurts more than ever. These
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51. The People I Love
One of those times when I updated his phone – because it’s still there, with the same number, the same accounts, and his playlists – sometimes I listen to his lists; I feel they connect me even more deeply to him. A notification pops up on the screen from X, which I don’t have an
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50. Moments with You
And along the way, the journey fills with nostalgia. It’s hard to pack the car without your things, once again. To buy the sweets you liked or to argue over the playlist. Now it’s me who chooses music that brings me closer to you. I allow myself to shed a few tears for what could
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49. Like the Waves of the Sea
When a new day dawns, you never know what the sea will be like – whether it will be calm, gently rocking the waves with a soft breeze, or, on the contrary, ready for battle, crashing violently as if it could tear the water apart forever. Oscar, I only feel like writing to you; that’s
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48. Resilience and Rage
These days – the hardest of the year, the ones that remind me as if it were yesterday of your definitive absence from this world – I was reluctant to create a new entry in this blog. A blog that has helped me immensely: to show the world who Oscar is, to unload my pain,
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47. Signs 2.0
I admit that at first, when Oscar… well, I don’t really know how to say it… I didn’t believe in signs. I thought they were made up by some people, that everything ended when the soul left us, and that life was truly over when we ceased to exist in this world. I don’t know
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46. Our time
Most of us, regardless of our mood, financial situation or health, deep in our hearts feel the desire to ask something of the new year knocking at our door. Hopes and dreams can feel like an uphill climb when we’re missing someone who used to drive us forward – someone who was one of our
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45 . An angel in my tree
With everything that stirs us up again, these dates filled with past moments – funny images, impromptu theatricals by the little ones, dancing, and the spark of excitement in the eyes of the young and not-so-young – it’s hard… A simple “happy holidays” feels, as I say, very “Grinch-like.” It’s not that it’s unappreciated, but
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44. That which cannot be seen
I have so much built up inside me that sometimes it feels like I might explode. When I think I’m moving forward and becoming part of the world around me, a memory on my phone, a song from your playlist, or one of your jumpers takes me back to a reality where time has stood
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43. Living is urgent. One more October 13th.
. On the eve of what would have been your 20th birthday, I feel sorry when I think about how you would have celebrated it, a hangover tomorrow for sure. We probably would have had a family meal together, as you always wanted and as I always tried, to unite the family in important moments.
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42. My Bereavement and my work
We should be thankful for having 16 weeks of maternity leave. 9 months you prepare yourself, assimilate this novelty. A new little person in your life that will depend on you for a long time, shaking the foundations of your life and in many cases changing your values. A complete change of life – that
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41. Unconditionals
September is a month of beginnings, a new course, a new backpack full of illusion and a lot of dreams for some, a month to analyse new directions and improvements in one’s life. A week full of emotions and experiences reaffirm to me that the bonds we create and care for with the people around
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40. To Oscar
There are those who express and share their feelings about their grief and feelings, about a sudden and traumatic blow. There are those who keep those thoughts to themselves. Others unburden themselves in private, grieving for an absurd world that truncates the happiness of many with the absence of a few. We are all deserving
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39. One day at a time
I’ve been in ‘seclusion’ for a few days now, where the little strength I have is enough to rest, think and manage a slow and painful resilience. At the same time, so much free time makes me relive bitter, unjust and painful moments over and over again, looking for alternatives. If the signs exist, why
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38. The darkest night
«I once had a son» I hold onto the thought that he is still here, he still lives on in me and in our memory. But when I stop in front of his portrait, my thoughts lead me to say, «you look like a dream» there so perfect, that serene and tender smile, that image
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37. Sandra
Today is Sandra’s birthday, the one who made me a mother for the first time, the one who made me understand that my life would never again be the same from when I saw those blue eyes for the first time, on my belly. My darling, looking forward to another year… what can I tell
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36. Learning to live
It’s been just one year since this journey, this therapy, this help, started. I started a blog to talk about Oscar and his life, and the end between us, as devastating as it was incomprehensible. Also, how happy he was and how happy it was to be with him for those of us who had
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35. Denial, anger, negotiation, depression, acceptance
And not always in that order, and sometimes they repeat and you start all over again. It is a theory about the phases of grief that has helped me and continues to help me understand where my grief is going. One year ago was the greatest loss, the trauma of a life time. The greatest
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34. Flowers and unconditional love
Like in a procession, praying litanies for your salvation. That’s how they kept us for 48 hours, from the shock of seeing you in a coma on a machine to making your death official. Brain death. I can’t get those 2 endless days of hope out of my mind, those who had faith prayed, those
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