Most of us, regardless of our mood, financial situation or health, deep in our hearts feel the desire to ask something of the new year knocking at our door.

Hopes and dreams can feel like an uphill climb when we’re missing someone who used to drive us forward – someone who was one of our engines – whose age, illness, or some other circumstance said, “That’s enough.” When we can’t find resolutions because sadness clouds every dawn.

And yet, I have a challenge, a goal that starts in January: to live more and work less. For several reasons, but mainly to continue caring, as best as I can and with the strength that sometimes seems so hard to find, for the elderly – my parents, my in-laws. Grandparents who remain unaware of the sordid, painful details of the loss of a grandchild. Grandparents who, without fully understanding what happened, spend their days lost in thought, sighing and grieving his absence. They, who no longer find joy in anything, who no longer have strength and for whom giving up feels acceptable, deserve our time. Even when it’s hard, or when there’s simply no energy, they deserve it. They always had time and energy to care for their grandchildren – there was never a “I can’t right now,” “I’m too tired,” “It’s not a good time,” or even, “I’ll come later.”

They are the main reason for this change, though I too am part of the reason. I’m learning to listen to myself, to understand my inner voice and feelings; to care for myself, to give myself time.

I’ve realized that such a traumatic experience has inevitably changed me – inside and out.

Resetting my desires, expectations, struggles and motivations is one of the main effects of such a drastic shift in my life.

I hug more, kiss more, love more. And even if it doesn’t always show, I listen more.
I want to allow myself to think about me, about my time – time that is precious. Whether it’s caring for my mind, my space, or simply reading a book.
I want to start the year with actions – actions that fulfill me. I want to give my time to those who need it or dedicate it to what makes me happy. To finish the book of his life, one that already has a beginning and an end.

I hope I find the strength – because I don’t lack motivation – in this life full of ups and downs. Some days, I want to leave everything behind and go back to the past. Other days, I find a sign that pushes me to keep going in this world, with the hope that someday we will meet again – because he’s still here, somehow.

Today, I say goodbye to a year of learning, beliefs, acceptance, self-discovery, letting go, and taking in. Above all, a year that’s either one more or one less, depending on how you look at it. But most importantly, a year to appreciate the little things that make people special, unique, and loved.

I welcome 2025, a new year filled with possibilities that are within our reach. It all depends on how we choose to live it.

May the star we all have in the sky continue to light our way.