There are those who express and share their feelings about their grief and feelings, about a sudden and traumatic blow. There are those who keep those thoughts to themselves. Others unburden themselves in private, grieving for an absurd world that truncates the happiness of many with the absence of a few. We are all deserving of a gentle and sweet education that allows us to understand that we are part of a whole, of an energy that transforms us and I hope that what hurts and impacts us in a hard and irrational way will also be full of learning, knowledge and tolerance until the day we transform into energy and beings of light like Oscar.

And so it is, time does not cure, it only helps you to reposition yourself, to understand that life is the way it is, always accompanied by death. We do not like to say it but it is an intrinsic part of life and it is the one that should make us wake up every day, one more day, and treat that day as a new gift, a new opportunity to make it special and with a little or a lot, make it unique and worth enjoying and receiving it as a new opportunity.

The transit through this new life that we have been given is gradually becoming passable, although sometimes, … time stops for a moment and I feel inside me ‘Oscar is no longer here… wow! It’s like uff… how can it be if I feel him so close? When I feel his presence the most is in our house, surrounded by memories. Small details in the living room and all of us lying down watching a movie, the kitchen and his mega breakfasts, the terrace and his friends watching the football match, Max and his dribbling game with the ball, the keyboard and the background noise in his ‘cave’, the bathroom and his endless showers with the music at full volume, and it is like that and right there, where I feel that he is by my side, one more day.

And his grandfather writes to me his thoughts that he transforms between poetry and a narrative of regret, love and questions to the air and I answer him:

“I’ll put it on the blog and thank you, Oscar would be amazed by you, I don’t think he ever had the chance to meet you like this’.”

A beloved young man is gone

A young man in love with life

Such a pity, I wonder how it happened?

What evil, what sin has he committed?

To be so punished.

He came into the world as a desired son

He was born strong, healthy, vigorous

The whole family celebrated

the gift that in life was given to them.

Undoubtedly, the most beautiful gift.

He grew up happy, full of illusions

Full of joy and hope

His charisma won hearts,

His smile transmitted sensations,

His work showered him with praise.

He lived his 18 years happy, cheerful, affectionate,

He forged himself in the family, he was full of illusions,

Life smiled at him, sport is fabulous,

And when the world seems more beautiful,

Then comes that hard blow, WHAM! And it betrays him.

Why truncate hope and illusion,

Why erase the smile and the joy

From that young and noble heart,

That’s brimming with love and the desire to live life?

Time passes and your absence cannot enter our thoughts,

We cannot forget that your presence is still alive,

And it is the essence that floods our feelings with love.

And if life has any meaning,

In time we’ll see each other again

You can be what you have not yet been

We’ll live the life you haven’t lived yet

And together it will be like being born again

Dear Oscar, we cannot forget you. Our hearts are still in pain. Your parents and sister dream of embracing you. We will never ever stop loving you, even though we have to go on living.

Justino, your grandfather.