Today the words, the feelings, the pain of your absence and the restlessness are crowding my head and my heart. A strange feeling, a few days of memories.

One year, one year since my life changed. I know there is no mother who would not say that her life changed when she became a mother. I allow myself to say that my life changed again when I lost you; I lost you in this world and although I carry you in my soul engraved in fire, the days of absence and uneasiness persist. Son, I am learning to live by your side without seeing you, without hearing your laughter and without hugging you. I am working on my inner self to be a mother worthy of a son like you, to deserve to be a good mother to you and your sister, a good companion to your father and the daughter my parents can be proud of. I work for everyone’s welfare as well as my own, and all thanks to the strength you give me. Your vitality and energy is my nourishment which helps me manage, learn and get through this physical absence, because I feel that you are very close to me.

The energy I feel from all those who knew you, the warmth of those who loved you and the love of so many people I know are a whirlwind that push me and help me to continue on a path marked out since you left.

Because there is no greater pain than losing a child.

Every day a thousand details bring me back to you, memories that were insignificant before but are now vital to me.

I love you and will love you for as many years as I have left in this world. I know you will be waiting for me and we will meet again in that wonderful world that took you away.

The infinite love I feel for you and Sandra makes me choose the courage to keep fighting. To fight for justice in this world for taking away from me what I loved most, for taking away a part of me. For not giving me a moment to say goodbye, too soon, too painful. That cannot be forgiven.

A year ago an unjust heartbreaking pain began with a lack of humanity and a total absence of empathy. It broke our hearts to lose that beautiful smile, a «bro» of many and the coach of your dragons. The grandson, brother, nephew, cousin and son of all.

Dear Oscar, I will love you all my life like the first day. A mother’s pride for an exceptional son

For you, I’ll try to live without reserve, give me time my love, I will make it.

I love you son.