5 in the morning, Saturday. I was thinking of doing the «ronso» as we used to say, to be lazy, put off waking up and have a lie-in in bed with no pretensions, no plans. How cool it was to have no pressure to get up, how we liked to be in bed like bears. Not today. Today my tears have wet the pillow for a while, and my phone battery ran out letting the time pass in entertainment in case I fell asleep again, but nothing.

I get up because I think about everything you don’t do, things that you won’t continue
enjoying yourself. The pain I feel is deafening and doesn’t let me sleep.

There will always be someone in the world, yes, in the entire world, who remembers you
because it seems small to me when I talk about you.

Those we don’t forget will never die.

There will always be someone with a candle lit for you, because your soul remains alive
inside the person who had the honour of knowing you, of being your family, your friend,
your “little grasshopper” turned into a dragon. There may even be someone in the world that wasn’t able to meet you in life who loves you through my writings; writings that are
nothing more than my feelings burning in my heart that don’t let me breathe.

Months go by. Sometimes I hear about misfortunes of all kinds, fortuitous accidents,
unfortunate moments that cut short the lives of people as dear as you and I always come to the same reflection… IT WAS NOT YOUR TIME, it was not your turn to leave, not like that, because of someone who did not know what to do, who abandoned you. Did they forget about you? Did they make a mistake? There are mistakes like someone who places an order and gets confused, someone who repairs a car with the wrong part because they thought it was the right thing to do, someone who cooks something they didn’t order, even a haircut that didn’t turn out the way the client wanted. This… this is something else, irreparable, with no solution, IRREVERSIBLE.

I would like you all to make a reflection, all of you who follow my writings so much. You give me the courage to continue writing, you support me and deep down love me as I love you. Does anyone who has undergone or should undergo surgery read the small print? Asks the name of their surgeon, their anaesthetist, and how they will be put to sleep. You come to reflect that for an unknown time you will be at the mercy of someone 100%, malleable like a reed, asleep, without consciousness and subject to the knowledge of someone you do not know but is indispensable to continue your life. Someone who you will not see again but now has you in their hand… have you even asked them who they are and what they know about all this?

I’ll make it easier for you. When we go to repair a car, a washing machine or a computer,
some of us look for references, levels of trust, reputation, knowledge, a good price and that it be fast. Above all, they tell us what it is going to cost us; and that it must be fixed in any way becomes relative for us. In the end, we surely choose the best one to fix it. Well, how can it be possible that we sign consent forms because we have to, there are 3 forms about the decisions that a “doctor”, another person we do not know, can take according to their criteria and we do not even consider knowing about his references, trust, reputation or knowledge?

I had the opportunity to talk to an anaesthetist before an operation and when you start
asking questions, they are surprised that you even ask their full name and that you want to find out if it will be sedation, general, etc. And when they want to shorten and cancel the pre-visit, you are forced to say no, that it is not just another operation, because everything has changed. Now I want to know everything because my son died in operating theatre number 7 in the Teknon Clinic in Barcelona, a world reference centre, with its motto «patient safety is the most important thing for us».

Because they didn’t know what to do with him or give him back to me that same afternoon to go home, I can’t forget that. How do I not forget that those same people, those characters from a bad movie, continue being contracted, continue “working” in that Clinic, those Anestalia subcontractors continue wearing white coats and deciding about more lives every day, without knowledge or aptitude to face a complication or accidents? A business centre where they reserve boxes and offices – a business without class.

Yes, of course, we are human. But not to reverse a situation that has been caused by human error? In an operating theatre? That has no name, I hope that you were with my son, all of you that I hold responsible for Oscar’s death. I hope that you are reading this, those of you who are proud of your position, who boast in the networks of your triumphs and look smiling in the photos. Do not have a peaceful day in your ridiculous lives, no peaceful sleep, no serenity. Remember every miserable day of your existence that you have ended the life of an excellent person. Oscar is not just another number in the statistics, as is none of those who unfortunately passed through your hands. A boy who would now be preparing for his future, dreaming of his master’s degree in Australia while enjoying his dragons on the football pitch, kickabouts with his friends or a crazy night out with his best friends.

All it took was a block and sedation, told to me by anaesthetists. A process under general anaesthesia with intubation was not necessary to remove the plate, there was no need to bill the insurance company for that excess. it was enough just to know what to do, especially since it was an intervention without any danger, with hardly any risks given his young age, youth and health.

It was enough just to do the job well. It was simple, and perhaps because of how simple it
was you did not give my child the respect and care that he deserved. I didn’t give him a big hug or a big kiss on that stretcher heading to the operating room because in a while I would have him back with me to take care of him at home, with love and kisses to pamper him the way he liked, to recover and continue another day.

And only then would you not know me as deeply as you do now. You would not feel on your skin what I have in the depths of my heart that tears me apart and against which I fight every day so that the sun rises again inside me. I don’t know how I can express myself like I do, write or open myself up like I do.

Friends, I have opened the doors of my house, life, family and soul to you so that the legacy of Oscar, our Oscar, reaches the depths of your being. What matters is today, only today. May you make yourself better every day, just by enjoying a new breakfast, a new day with your loved ones, a new and sincere “I love you” and a new choice for each of you: today I am going to give my best.