No matter what day we are on, there are no dates more difficult than others, but we do remember with great regret these days 29, 30, 31, 1, 2… and even a week from the terrible moment until your funeral as the most difficult days to remember in my life, my heart shrinks and that lump in my throat awakens tears…one more day. They were moments of tears, pain and despair in the eyes of those who came to the Clinica Teknon to support us, accompany us and suffer together the pain of such a grave loss for all of us.

Somebody sent me the ✨🫶🏼🦋 in a text message, and that says it all. Some people know what day it is today and don’t say anything… because they don’t have to. It hurts to look at your image, to shuffle through the phone with hundreds of photos that I look at in detail, your mole, your fingers, that nose and the curls that drove me crazy. How can we be so far away and at the same time so close to those with whom we have been united for life. With those with whom, because of Oscar and thanks to him, we will be friends/brothers forever.

Him grandfather Justino, «Justin» as I usually call him because of his youth, spirit, attitude and predisposition at 92 years old, gives us strength and helps us to breathe one more day. He sweetens every moment we meet with his cakes and always has a funny point of view of daily life. Today he has written to me again and with great sorrow and tears he acknowledges having written these words for Oscar. We want to share them so that not only grandchildren and parents but also grandparents who read me, are sensitive and receptive to enjoy everything that life can offer them between wrinkles, aches and pains. That life is unique and whoever has the privilege of waking up every morning has the virtue of choosing how to enjoy that day. Grandparents also feel and suffer a loss as parents do, they suffer for their grandchildren and for their children, for the pain they see after years of experience, because it is not right to see a child die, let alone a grandchild.

I am writing to you again, dear grandson, because time goes by and the memory of your absence continues to mark the rhythm of our lives. Every day we look at your photos and soon we get the impression that you are here and we are excited to see you, and I get the idea that you are with us…! I’m deluded, but for a moment I feel happy, until I get that lump in my throat and those bitter tears that seem to come from my soul appear, and I always ask myself the same question: Why? Why you? A person starting to live, full of life, full of love for everyone and everything he did, with a whole life ahead of him, full of dreams, health, illusions, projects and hopes, with parents and a sister who adored you, who saw in you that young man who was going to take over the world, because you had everything, beauty, youth, desire to succeed, sympathy, people skills, strength, a lot of strength to overcome the adversities that would undoubtedly appear in your life. But you didn’t count, neither you nor anyone else, on that hidden and merciless adversity that came in the cruelest way, without giving you time to defend yourself.

What evil had you done at the age of 18? That you thought of nothing else but living, living that wonderful life of the one who sees everything clean and healthy. That’s what your heart was like, clean and healthy. You liked to compete on the track, you felt like a winner, you liked to win, and who wouldn’t? You had started a race, the most important race, the RACE OF LIFE, you were going well, very well but they stopped you before you reached the finish line and not to make you a winner, but to cut your race forever. And again the same question, why? It wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t an illness, it wasn’t youthful recklessness, what was it?

Someone nipped in the bud the career of a promising young man, cheerful, affectionate, hardworking, always helping others, giving life with his daily presence and his affection to those other grandparents, who had him as a son and filling with illusions those kids he trained, who loved him, who trusted him, who respected him, who considered him as one more companion because he won them over with his sympathy, his effort, his total dedication and his affection. Five months have passed, dear grandson, and it seems like yesterday when you left us, but life will go by and we will continue to dream of your smile, your way of being, your rebelliousness. Sometimes, with that young man who passed through this world and when he was beginning to show what he could have been, he was not given time and his life was cut short forever.

But not a moment will pass without me asking myself, at least to silence the black thoughts that assail me day after day, Why? I know that time will pass and the pain will always be the same and will always be in us, because you are that pain, dear Oscar. BLESS YOU.