Today I am writing to you Oscar, perhaps the most difficult letter, although I hope not the only one. I want you to know about the many things that have happened …

Your Yaya is a champion, she does her exercises to get better and soon she will be able to walk without help. Your Yayo misses arguing with you, to see who eats more potatoes or simply commenting on a game with you, even if you never agreed. They miss you a lot, they feel out of place in what’s left of their lives, and what do I tell them? I know that at some point this will change, it must change, but in the meantime… Your other Yayos visit us often, Yayo’s cakes sweeten our afternoons and now we have more for us because half of them were always for you.

You know, your cousins no longer live in their apartment, they have moved to a beautiful
house. I can’t stop seeing you in the swimming pool with Dani, wrinkled like raisins and being silly. Mayte, Andrea and Dani have reached a consensus that the house will be called Villa Oscar 7. Of course, you must have helped them to get it (more signs) because at this exact moment it is number 7 in the street – it couldn’t be any other number. It is a new illusion in their lives, it is clear that it is not complete. Although we want you to always be there in many ways, it would have been great to enjoy this new project altogether.

Your friends are going to the beach, concerts, doing summer jobs, being with girlfriends and some of them getting their car licence (hey Nil!) And by the way, Dani has already passed the theory test on the first attempt! I’m sure you would have done the intensive together. So many things that you are missing… Angel took your jersey to Donosti. We are so proud to see how far the tribute and the memory go, you are forever present in the hearts of many. Nico is doing better, he is a champion, he has courage like few others and the attitude of a born fighter, in no time we will hear him again with his bike up and down the street. Do you remember Adrià, that boy who ran with you in the St. Just athletics team? He always came first and you came second, it never bothered you; now he is a top basketball player in the first division! You would have been proud to have met him and say I ran with him. You have always been proud of your rivals and friends, you never felt envy, in fact, you followed closely the achievements of many of them and you let me know, Iván, Jan, Angel… Oh my love, I have to tell you about your friends more deeply – those marks on the skin, those indelible memories. This will take me more time because seeing them and hugging them is the closest I can get to feeling you. It is painful and happy at the same time, give me time…

If you saw the logo in tribute to you that Toni designed, you would have liked it very much, it travels, in cars, mobiles and wherever they want to remember you, we are distributing them so that they can see the extent of the love we have for you, always present. Thank you Toni for being like this, I told you, I told you all … you are inescapably part of our family forever.

The Carrots are your family, what a group! They have deeply touched our hearts. Now we understand how much you enjoyed your time with them and they with you. In a short time, you won their hearts. We have felt hugs full of energy, love for you and tender affection that we did not want to say goodbye to. Your dragons are adorable. Inevitably, they will not grow up with the established beliefs that life is long, as many of us have grown up believing, that life may not be perfect but we would have children, grandchildren, work, hope,… that it would not be easy but it would be lasting. No, they have already learned at their young age that today you are here and tomorrow who knows, that you have to seize the moment and live it to the fullest. Life wasn’t supposed to be perfect, but it was long.

The other day I was told that some children wearing your tribute T-shirt «Sempre amb
nosaltres – Ó7″ met another boy who recognised the T-shirt and without knowing each
other they just hugged, just to feel close to you… That’s huge, Oscar, so great!

Papa is working more because he wanted to be kept busy and because there is nothing like working in what you like the most, as he always said to both of you «Get up in the morning with the illusion of doing what you like the most, and get paid for it!”

Sandra misses you a lot. She comes home with Ares, with that little devil that drives us
crazy, but the truth is that they bring a lot of joy every time they come, they are an indivisible pack. Together with her and Papa we watch some films and we always have you in mind, we have made a little corner for you and your things in the living room, your
suitcase is full of your most important things, memories and even your new passport so you can go and see in your dreams all those who remember you, and there are many of them! Your cousins, uncles, aunts and friends – life companions who had the opportunity to treasure funny and unique moments with you. Not long ago a letter was sent to you by a friend of yours. I read it aloud so that you could hear me and I could not hold back my tears because of the so many beautiful things she said to you. I know that they have reached you in some way because you touched the hearts of those people and your memory will live on in them. You have helped them to understand that life is such a brief and fleeting moment and you have to make the most of it:

«Memento Mori, Memento Vivere».

«Remember that you will die, so remember to live.»

Max has a new place to sleep. Although he always used to sleep next to the door, now he usually sleeps under your window. He misses the dribbles and the little tricks and nutmegs you used to do with him. You were very naughty with him, but he loved you so much!

And me, well, I don’t how to tell you how I feel. They ask me and ask me, and even I don’t
know what to tell myself when I look in the mirror in the morning. Since you have not been here, for one thing or another I can’t allow myself to relax much, hospitals, scares, rehabilitation; I think everything is «rigged» in some way so that I don’t fall down, I have
almost finished decorating your room, as we agreed, you enjoyed it only for a little time,
now it’s my turn to write from here, which is where I feel better.

I must tell you that I need to close my eyes, feel the sand on my feet and see you crashing in the waves as you did for hours in the summer; put cream on you even if you didn’t want me to, take care of you and feel and be grateful that life… is fine… that everything is still fine. I’ll let my dreams take me to you. And although everything will be fine someday, it is still very difficult my darling, I feel as if they have amputated the cells of laughter, dreams, illusion and well-being; surely there are those cells inserted in our body, some people don’t know they have them, please find them! They are vital to feeling enjoyment. Some do have them, because I see them planning holidays, having fun, smiling and living life.

Emotional amputation: Defined as the inevitable extraction of the core of your being,
uprooting the heart (the one that hurts, the emotional one), removing the core of your
stability.

María told me that this year there was a very powerful energy portal, a very powerful
number was repeated, guess which… 7.7.7! Today is the last day that adding 7-25-2023
gives 777. I resort to whatever. Healing energy brings me peace and helps transform this pain into something worthwhile. Time… I just need time and your strength.

Oscar, my love, my treasure. In our sky, you are the most beautiful star, guiding our way
with your light. May your essence always accompany me wherever I go, and may I manage to heal the wounds and take you with me. I know that one day I will be able to talk about you without glassy eyes, without a shrinking heart, without anger in my fists and without the lament of the greatest sorrow that a mother could feel deep inside. They took from me what I loved the most, what I saw growing in me with so much love and watching you grow up to be as beautiful inside as outside made me feel like the proudest, happiest and most fulfilled mother who has ever lived. Until that moment comes, I want to feel everything that happens to me, to cry and smile when I remember you by looking at your photos and videos, to talk about you as much as I can and to miss you madly.

Until we meet again, I love you, your mother.