When I talk about «my life», I’m talking about the life of my daughter, my husband, the four grandparents, uncles and aunties, nephews and nieces, cousins (a family that loves him, adores him, united as one). And also, all that family that we choose, our inseparable and unconditional friends, Oscar’s friends and his «dragons».
We were a team of four, well, 4 + 1. Our furry Max who loves us all and counts as one of us. A simple family like thousands in Spain, we visited new places and planned trips. Oscar wanted to see new places outside of Spain. We travelled hundreds of miles to see the family, so that the cousins could meet and love each other as they do now, like brothers and sisters. Finally, planning a vacation for the 4 of us together… New York or Africa!, at last, since my princess Sandra had joined the healthcare team to fight the pandemic, she had barely had a rest – now it was time to plan «the big summer trip.»
This pack, this family that has hundreds of memories… and now when I turn my head in the car and look back, look back at that empty seat, I will no longer be able to reposition the cushion so he sleeps a little better, nor connect his phone to listen to his favourite playlist. Not anymore. We are no longer 4 + 1. Now, he is our GPS, he is the navigator of our life which is updated day by day. Oscar guides our way every morning; because without him we have no direction, no line to follow. We no longer plan anything
Our immediate future and our lives have changed forever. Unfortunately, and without asking, we must find a way to cope with this, while the memories of his smile, his cute little eyes, his curls, his character, his style, his anecdotes and above all the passion with which he lived every small detail, is with us day after day.
Well, this is how it was. On March 29 of this year, we entered the out-patients of the Teknon Clinic in Barcelona at 4:00 p.m., he was not even going to stay overnight in the hospital.
It was meant to be a simple intervention of about 60 minutes to remove a metal plate from the collar bone that he injured just a year ago playing the sport that he loved, where he gave everything and jumped to fight for a ball, fell badly and shattered the clavicle.
– Mum, this place is different, isn’t it?
– Yes Oscar, everything is faster here, a simple box where later you will wake up and then we will go home.
– Oh! cool, much better, nothing like the other one…
At around 6:30 p.m. after a few hours of nerves, whatsapps and telling his father where we were, he left on a stretcher. A quick kiss, – “Oops, you are spiky!” I told him, see you later… A see you later that indicated that this was just for a while and then I’ll take care of you, I thought, like I did a year ago preparing those delicious and fun snacks, pampering you on the sofa where you will sleep for a few days…
His father did not see him with open eyes. He remembers saying goodbye to him in the morning while Oscar was still having breakfast, before needing to fast, his twice as big bowl of cereals, with headphones on and watching his videos.
– See you later!
They moved us from one box to another because apparently they were closing that area, how strange… 8:30 p.m. and still nothing…
They took us to another box and at around 9:30 p.m. they told us to go down to the room next to the operating rooms (I don’t like this at all… now they’ll tell us they can’t remove the plate for some reason, my god how angry he’s going to be, I thought…)
5 people then appeared (from Artroesport and from the Anaesthesiologists team), still dressed as in the operating room and with incredulous faces, they told us:
– We do not know what happened, there has been a complication and your son has suffered a CPA (cardiopulmonary arrest) …
– We have not even touched the plate, it has all been in the anaesthesia process, we are finding out what could have happened…
– But…how is he? – asks his father Jorge.
– He is being transferred to the ICU right now, he is in a coma. ……… ..
– How many minutes has he been in CPA? I, his mother, ask.– A few minutes…
(I won’t go into the lurid details of our shock and their robotic treatment)
We waited to see Oscar in the ICU, in shock, without saying anything for fear of saying what we were thinking, we didn’t even know what to think… while a person in charge of the ICU told us:
– Your son is serious, very serious… he was in CPA for 20 minutes, very serious…
That’s when my world stopped, I blocked, I started to tremble with the bags of his clothes in my hands. We felt useless, powerless, desolate, ALONE, out of place… that didn’t sound good at all, neither what he said nor his body language when he spoke to us… but you don’t want to believe, or think, we just wanted to see him. I even think, tonight he will have to spend it here of course… but tomorrow we’ll see.
My life changed completely in just a few hours.
El blog de Oscar 